After 6 P.M. Tuesday night the City Council reconvened and finally put forth agenda item number 20, which I referred to in my post from December 18. Holy moly what a show! Probably the only thing they were missing in that room were midgets, jugglers, and transvestites.
I jotted down some notes so I could give you folks some of the lowlights from this debacle. First the mayor took the mic and explained a little about the recommedation before she handed it over to Das. To his credit both the Mayor and Mr. Williams spoke openly and passionately about why they were endorsing this resolution. There is no doubt that they actually believe all of the things they uttered last night. In a room full of boisterous anti-war activists (and a few sweet, solemn old ladies), there wasn't a dissenting opinion to be found, which is why Mayor Blum never had to enforce her warning at the outset not to clap or boo or hiss so as not to intimidate any speakers. Noone was to be intimidated last night, as every speaker was on the same page... sort of. So when the mayor handed off the mic to the concerned citizenry, the circus began.
The first to the plate, a Phillip Martinee (sp?), was probably the least coherent of all the speakers. In his two minute mumbling diatribe he called "George Bush Senior... an accomplice to murder" and said that "Bush came in (to Iraq) with his bombs and killed everyones mother and brother and friend." Probably the best bit was one I didn't quite understand: "(George Bush) wants to put a laptop on every Iraqi childrens' stomach, or whatever he said, and then ugh, mentioned (incoherent) ugh low income children taken from the tobacco industry." What? George Bush wants to put a Quato-style robot on every Iraqi kid, and he's kidnapping deconomically isadavantaged children from JR Morris like the bad guy in the second Indiana Jones movie? I don't get it.
The second speaker was Paul Berenson. He basically re-stated all the numbers from the resolution document itself before dropping this gem of a quote: "Americans don't care about the human cost of the war." Well I am an American and I do care about the human cost of the war. Who is this guy to say what I or any other American cares about, especially when he's talking about a subject so dear to so many Americans hearts? What a jackass!
Later in the program Dinah Mason spoke. she was wearing a garish "Code Pink" jacket that Tammy Faye Baker would find over the top. At one point in her story about her military daughter's broken marriage to a Bolivian she mentioned that she herself was mis-diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Uhhhhh, Dinah, the doctor didn't mis-diagnose you. You are crazy.
The most controversial comments came from a man named Mark McGinnes. The names of the speakers were not displayed, so having never met the Mark McGinnes from UCSB I referenced in a previous post, I can't confirm that this was the same guy. He had some strong indictments of the Bush administration and the President personally, calling for "George Bush (to be) apprehended in Baghdad tomorrow and hung by the neck for his crimes." Sedition? You decide. He also foisted his personal brand of communism on the crowd when he denounced democracy and capitalism by saying "consumption breeds terrorism." Nice, Mark. Where did you go to eat after the meeting, Mark? Did you go out to consume your dinner, you jihadist?
The citizen speakers concluded with a grandmotherly lady named Nancy Lynch. She seemed nice enough, but exhibited a misunderstanding of the chain of governmental command when she concluded by telling the council that "the President cannot veto your vote." That's probably true, Nancy, since there are about 47 levels of command between the mayor and the President.
After all of the civilians had had their say, the Councilmembers all had theirs. Here are some snippets:
"Look out for us!" - Marty Blum, to raging applause that she had declared at the beginning of the meeting would be disallowed.
"I'm a child of the 60's."
"We've become pigs."
"We can never patch up the horror of what we've done (in Iraq)." - all Brian Barnwell. To respond to the first, I wonder if Mr. Barnwell is still taking the hallucinogens he was taking in the 60's. Exactly who the pigs are I'm not sure. And to his final quote I would say this: Mr. Barnwell, we dropped two atomic bombs on Japan and killed hundreds of thousands of civilians to end the war in the Pacific theater. That was a pretty horrible thing to do, much worse in my estimation than deposing Saddam Hussein and liberating a country yearning for democracy, but wouldn't you agree that relations between America and the Japanese are pretty good right now? We buy Sony products from them and they buy used womens underwear on EBay, it's all good.
"I understand why we didn't go to the United Nations; we were too greedy going for oil." - Marty Blum. The mayor shows her basic misunderstanding of the impetus for the conflict with this ridiculous statement. If we were going for the oil, would gas prices in Santa Barbara county be near $4 a gallon right now? Using this argument I think I could swing the momentum of this whole Council Crusade right around and say that by staying in Iraq to fight Al-Qaeda and other insurgent groups it could only help us here, at least at the pumps, if that oil should ever come through.
Probably most disappointing to me was the fact that Helene Schneider jumped on this bandwagon, probably right about the time of the third round of applause when she realized that if she dissented from this group they might take her outside and draw and quarter her immediately following adjournment. Shame on you Helene.
And thus the show was over, and the loony lefties had felt they won this small battle against the imperialist administration we all suffer under. Just by watching this video, available on demand through the city website, confirms the very idea behind the name of this blog. There are way more crazy people in Santa Barbara than sane people, therefore we, my faithful readers, are in the minority.
Stay tuned: at the next City Council meeting they're going to put forth a resolution to stop the crisis in Darfur, right after they debate about how to turn down the heat that emanates from the sun.
Goodnight now.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
You Say You Want a Resolution
You might have been driving around town by yourself in your Hummer and thought to yourself, wow there are sure alot of homeless people out today; or maybe you saw a piece of graffiti gracing a wall that wasn't there yesterday; perhaps you were even privileged enough to witness a gang fight in front of one of the myriad marijuana dispensaries in town. But all of these decidedly minor local annoyances are today eclipsed by the uber-significant issue of the effect of the current conflict in the middle east on our (usually) sunny community by the beach.
That's right. The War on Terror DOES affect you here in our corner of paradise. The same people that don't believe that we here in Santa Barbara are at risk to the dangers of terrorism will now have you believe that it's kicking us in the softest spot on our collective person: the City's pocketbook.
Today Mayor Marty Blum and Councilman Das Williams will be proposing to the City Council a "Resolution Urging Cessation of Combat Operations in Iraq and the Return of U.S. Troops." That's right, folks. The Blue Line is back and it's bigger and badder than ever.
Whether this is a ploy to divide the Council or a plea for the recollection of federal funds that they claim war spending is infringing upon, or neither, it sure looks like an attention grabber. In fact this might be the biggest "look at me" stunt I've seen since Britney Spears did her best Sharon Stone Basic Instinct impression for the paparazzi. Terrel Owens pulling a sharpie out of his sock after a touchdown grab thinks these people are narcissistic.
I am of the opinion that this may be nothing more than something for the electeds to brag about when they hit the next National Aldermanic Association meeting in Backwater, USA. You saw it when Mayor Blum was caught sounding like a high school student errrrr misquoted in Variety Magazine about how they were "gonna paint a blue line" and this could be another one of their garden variety progressive Santa Barbara ploys to get more attention for how wonderful a job we're doing here in SB. If that's the case, congratulations electeds. With respect to President Bush, Mission Accomplished!
I'm happy to see that I'm not coming out of left field on this one, since they're chirping about it elsewhere, but do we really need another Blue Line? What exactly is the role, if any, of local government in regards to international foreign policy? Let's hear it readers. Proffer your opinions here on whether this is Mayor Blum's way of plopping a cease and desist order on the folks that spend four hours setting up Arlington West every Sunday, or if it's Das Williams' way of making up for the fact that he got up late this morning and only had 37 minutes to look at himself in the mirror.
Me Me ME!
That's right. The War on Terror DOES affect you here in our corner of paradise. The same people that don't believe that we here in Santa Barbara are at risk to the dangers of terrorism will now have you believe that it's kicking us in the softest spot on our collective person: the City's pocketbook.
Today Mayor Marty Blum and Councilman Das Williams will be proposing to the City Council a "Resolution Urging Cessation of Combat Operations in Iraq and the Return of U.S. Troops." That's right, folks. The Blue Line is back and it's bigger and badder than ever.
Whether this is a ploy to divide the Council or a plea for the recollection of federal funds that they claim war spending is infringing upon, or neither, it sure looks like an attention grabber. In fact this might be the biggest "look at me" stunt I've seen since Britney Spears did her best Sharon Stone Basic Instinct impression for the paparazzi. Terrel Owens pulling a sharpie out of his sock after a touchdown grab thinks these people are narcissistic.
I am of the opinion that this may be nothing more than something for the electeds to brag about when they hit the next National Aldermanic Association meeting in Backwater, USA. You saw it when Mayor Blum was caught sounding like a high school student errrrr misquoted in Variety Magazine about how they were "gonna paint a blue line" and this could be another one of their garden variety progressive Santa Barbara ploys to get more attention for how wonderful a job we're doing here in SB. If that's the case, congratulations electeds. With respect to President Bush, Mission Accomplished!
I'm happy to see that I'm not coming out of left field on this one, since they're chirping about it elsewhere, but do we really need another Blue Line? What exactly is the role, if any, of local government in regards to international foreign policy? Let's hear it readers. Proffer your opinions here on whether this is Mayor Blum's way of plopping a cease and desist order on the folks that spend four hours setting up Arlington West every Sunday, or if it's Das Williams' way of making up for the fact that he got up late this morning and only had 37 minutes to look at himself in the mirror.
Me Me ME!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
911 Is a Joke in Your Town
The SBPD can't save your life, especially if your situation requires immediate attention.
Think back to David Klotz, who last year was murdered by a couple of grossly overweight bouncers at that place on Yanonali where naked sluts dance on poles, The Spearmint Rhino. While it was the fat-assed bouncers that called the police in the first place, to respond to a minor altercation at their den of debauchery, it took over 20 minutes for Santa Barbara's finest to respond. It was around three o'clock in the morning and Winchell's wasn't open, so I don't know where the coppers were or what they were doing, but I'm sure they weren't busy fighting gang violence. You know the end of the story. When they finally did arrive they found Klotz underneath 800 pounds of blubber and possessing a weak pulse. EMTs arrived and carted him off to the hospital, where he laid unconscious for a day before his parents could come down from the Bay area to make the call to take him off of life support. He was brain dead, and then he was dead. It's a sad story, but one that the SBPD doesn't want you to think about anymore, since they swept it all under the rug very neatly. No charges were filed against the club, its owners, or the two obese thugs, primarily because to do so would be to keep in the spotlight the PD's failure to arrive before the bouncers could effectively squeeze the life out of an innocent kid. Protect and Serve my ass.
Fast forward to yesterday. I work in the Community Development building on Garden Street, across from where they are constructing a giant, brand new mental health facility. Right next door is the Alano Club, which is where you go if you've been drunk most of your life and you'd like to make the change from suicide by alcohol to suicide by smoking nine packs of cigarettes a day right next to a massive, dust generating construction site that spews dirt out of its 30 foot hole for ten hours a day. My parents and brother are visiting from the east coast this week and they came by in the afternoon to check out my office digs and to meet my supervisor and co-workers. It was a nice enough visit that ended with a 50 yard stroll back out to the visitors parking lot. On our way out there I noticed a guy sprawled out on the edge of the parking lot with his head on the curb and his body looking like he just got dropped from an airplane.
I thought for sure he was dead, but upon further inspection I noticed his chest moving up and down, a sure sign of breathing function. He did have a half eaten piece of bread near his head and some brown vomitous looking fluid trailing from his mouth, but otherwise he looked like your regular, run of the mill homeless drunk passed out in a park, except he was here, in the city building parking lot! My Mother mentioned that the guy was there when they walked in and looked as if he hadn't moved an inch since they saw him 30 minutes prior. So let's call it about four o'clock the first time the police were called to come and rouse this vagrant.
Come 4:25 still no units of Santa Barbara's finest had arrived on the scene. A second call revealed that indeed the boys and girls in blue were on a shift change. Good thing there were no gang stabbings between four and five yesterday!
A resourceful employee of the city of SB then decided to call a contact she had in the Fire Department. In about four minutes we had a representative of the boys and girls in the red trucks on scene to rouse the bum from his deep, puke filled slumber. Thank you to the Santa Barbara Fire Department for your service!
The police showed up at about 4:45, but of course they didn't find anything because the guy was long gone by the time they made the four block journey from headquarters on Figueroa. So much for Mayor Blum's latest set of declarations about what a good job she's doing with the homeless problem.
The moral of the story is the same as the title, with respect to Flava Flav. Don't count on the PD to get to your emergency in a shorter amount of time than it would take any normal quadriplegic to complete the Boston Marathon.
Think back to David Klotz, who last year was murdered by a couple of grossly overweight bouncers at that place on Yanonali where naked sluts dance on poles, The Spearmint Rhino. While it was the fat-assed bouncers that called the police in the first place, to respond to a minor altercation at their den of debauchery, it took over 20 minutes for Santa Barbara's finest to respond. It was around three o'clock in the morning and Winchell's wasn't open, so I don't know where the coppers were or what they were doing, but I'm sure they weren't busy fighting gang violence. You know the end of the story. When they finally did arrive they found Klotz underneath 800 pounds of blubber and possessing a weak pulse. EMTs arrived and carted him off to the hospital, where he laid unconscious for a day before his parents could come down from the Bay area to make the call to take him off of life support. He was brain dead, and then he was dead. It's a sad story, but one that the SBPD doesn't want you to think about anymore, since they swept it all under the rug very neatly. No charges were filed against the club, its owners, or the two obese thugs, primarily because to do so would be to keep in the spotlight the PD's failure to arrive before the bouncers could effectively squeeze the life out of an innocent kid. Protect and Serve my ass.
Fast forward to yesterday. I work in the Community Development building on Garden Street, across from where they are constructing a giant, brand new mental health facility. Right next door is the Alano Club, which is where you go if you've been drunk most of your life and you'd like to make the change from suicide by alcohol to suicide by smoking nine packs of cigarettes a day right next to a massive, dust generating construction site that spews dirt out of its 30 foot hole for ten hours a day. My parents and brother are visiting from the east coast this week and they came by in the afternoon to check out my office digs and to meet my supervisor and co-workers. It was a nice enough visit that ended with a 50 yard stroll back out to the visitors parking lot. On our way out there I noticed a guy sprawled out on the edge of the parking lot with his head on the curb and his body looking like he just got dropped from an airplane.
I thought for sure he was dead, but upon further inspection I noticed his chest moving up and down, a sure sign of breathing function. He did have a half eaten piece of bread near his head and some brown vomitous looking fluid trailing from his mouth, but otherwise he looked like your regular, run of the mill homeless drunk passed out in a park, except he was here, in the city building parking lot! My Mother mentioned that the guy was there when they walked in and looked as if he hadn't moved an inch since they saw him 30 minutes prior. So let's call it about four o'clock the first time the police were called to come and rouse this vagrant.
Come 4:25 still no units of Santa Barbara's finest had arrived on the scene. A second call revealed that indeed the boys and girls in blue were on a shift change. Good thing there were no gang stabbings between four and five yesterday!
A resourceful employee of the city of SB then decided to call a contact she had in the Fire Department. In about four minutes we had a representative of the boys and girls in the red trucks on scene to rouse the bum from his deep, puke filled slumber. Thank you to the Santa Barbara Fire Department for your service!
The police showed up at about 4:45, but of course they didn't find anything because the guy was long gone by the time they made the four block journey from headquarters on Figueroa. So much for Mayor Blum's latest set of declarations about what a good job she's doing with the homeless problem.
The moral of the story is the same as the title, with respect to Flava Flav. Don't count on the PD to get to your emergency in a shorter amount of time than it would take any normal quadriplegic to complete the Boston Marathon.
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